A Much Needed Update 17 August, 2024

I’ve been ‘away’ for a while. Okay, it’s only been two weeks since my last blog post, but a lot has happened. Anxiety over the news and family situations has resulted in me relapsing in a reclusive state, doing nothing but lying in my bed playing video games. But hey, at least I’m playing video games for once!

Because of this, I haven’t gone on an ’expedition’ like I promised, but I did go on a quick stroll to capture the sunrise one day while listening to the newly shadow-dropped Parannoul album. Didn’t get as many endorphins as I hoped, but I’m okay with the results.

What I’m not okay with, though, is the persisting anxiety. While I indulge in my blocklists, my procrastination, my retreat, I feel like the world, the outside, is at an odds by itself. Social media brings wrath, ‘fire!’ screamed in the crowded hall that is the internet. All of this is exactly what I predicted in 2019 when I had my mental breakdown - I sabotaged my future, my degree, and yet the current vindications yields no reward.

I stagnate, but what is being stagnated? I’ll be 28 years old soon - what have I accomplished? Will I be on my deathbed wishing I consumed more media? Things can’t continue like this, surely.

In other news, I also got created a Letterboxd account, but it’s far from complete and I’m hesitant if I should go all out like back in the old days (I deleted my previous account also in 2019). I’ll have my thoughts on this on a later blog post.